Tips for the Caregiver

Support for Caregivers | Basic Responsibilities of the Caregiver | Coping for Caregivers | Advanced Care at the End of Life

If you’re like most caregivers, you’re just an ordinary person who’s had a new role in life thrust upon them…that of primary caretaker for a loved one who’s seriously ill.  You’re not Superman or Wonder Woman.  You didn’t plan for this to happen to your family. 

You’ll undoubtedly feel overwhelmed and have lots of questions as to what your role is to be.  (see Basic Responsibilities of the Caregiver)  Just like the millions of informal caregivers around the world, you’ll learn as you go, giving the best you have to offer to your loved one who’s suffering from mesothelioma.

It’s important to remember that you’re not alone and that you can’t carry the whole world on your shoulders.  Here are some tips to help you maintain balance in your life.

Plan your Schedule

• Carefully examine your schedule and your responsibilities.  For example, if you’re a woman and you have several children at home who need your attention, spending the majority of your waking hours caring for the patient is probably an unrealistic goal.  You can get burned out in just a matter of days if you don’t plan realistically. 
• Make some time for yourself.  You’ll want to find at least a few hours a week when you can be totally alone.  Find a quiet place – like a library – to read a book, go have a facial at the local day spa, or take in a romantic movie.
• Take time to consult with a clergyperson or other counselor when necessary.  Care giving will be a great burden on you and you may need to talk about your feelings of frustration or denial.  You may want to join a caregiver support group, made up of individuals who are experiencing the same feelings as you.
• There are times when you just won’t be able to fit care giving into your schedule.  You should seek out alternatives, including other friends or relatives who can help, or facilities that offer respite care for your loved one.

Get to Know the Doctors

• Your loved one will likely be seeing a number of different healthcare providers.  Learn what each one is responsible for so that you can consult the correct doctor when a problem arises.
• Don’t be afraid to ask questions.  Most people are in the dark when it comes to diseases like mesothelioma.  Write down your questions as they arise so that you don’t forget them when you arrive at the next appointment. 
• If you are too busy to be the central contact for all the healthcare providers, choose one reliable family member or friend who is willing to assume that task.

Burnout

• Everyone has their limits.  Recognize the symptoms of burnout (anger, listlessness, frustration, extreme depression) and find someone to help you or turn the care of your loved one over to professionals, if possible.
• Stay connected with other caregivers so that you may share coping strategies with each other.