Relationship Issues - Emotional Effects

Emotional Effects | Sexuality | Talking about Cancer | Talking to Children

You’re a human being and human beings feel pain and sadness.  Your mesothelioma diagnosis will no doubt dredge up all sorts of emotions, some which you’ve never had to deal with previous to your disease.

You might experience:

• Denial
• Depression
• Anxiety
• Withdrawal
• Anger
• Loss of self-esteem

Dealing with all these issues, in addition to physical side effects caused by the disease and its treatment, can be quite daunting.  You may feel like crawling into bed and never coming out from under the covers.  But most of the emotions can be addressed in one way or another.

Denial is a common occurrence.  You can’t believe this is happening to you and you don’t understand why it would.  The denial may result in avoidance; that is, the desire to ignore your disease and not gather details on treatment or outcome.  Denial will usually subside as your disease progresses and you need to make life-or-death decisions about your care.

Depression occurs in most cancer patients.  Who wouldn’t be upset when faced with such a difficult and unpredictable disease?  Depression can be handled in a few different ways.  Counseling often helps as talking about your disease will help quell some of the fear of the unknown.  If your depression is interfering with your everyday life and your treatment, you may need to seek medication to treat the symptoms.

It’s natural to be anxious about a mesothelioma diagnosis.  This may be most prevalent directly following the diagnosis and may come and go as you face more obstacles or challenges during treatment or as you encounter end-of-life issues.  Again, anxiety is lessened by talking about the disease and gathering accurate details about mesothelioma and its treatment.  Medication is available for severe anxiety.

Some people just don’t want to talk with others when they’re sick.  Doctors characterize this as withdrawal.  A certain amount of withdrawal is to be expected, but the inability to interact with others on a long-term basis may be a sign of severe depression. 

Many individuals diagnosed with cancer just can’t understand why this is happening to them and often become quite angry.  “Why is God punishing me?” you might ask.  “What did I do to deserve this?”  Anger is a natural reaction to anything that promises to change your life.  You may even become angry at those who are well.  Remember to let loved ones know that your anger is directed at your disease, not at them.  That will help you spare a lot of hurt feelings.  Talk to a professional about your anger if you feel it’s ruining your relationships with others.

Cancer may cause you to lose control over your life, therefore lowering your self-esteem.  You may feel as though you’ve lost your independence, having to rely on others for things that were once commonplace for you.  A change in your physical appearance may affect your self-esteem as well.  Be sure to try to look your best when possible, choosing clothes that fit properly and purchasing wigs or headgear to cover any hair loss. Accept the fact that you may not be able to do everything yourself and rejoice in the important things, like family and friends who are eager to help you with things you can no longer handle on your own.