Relationship Issues - Sexuality

Emotional Effects | Sexuality | Talking about Cancer | Talking to Children

With so many new and different emotions reeling inside you, you can be certain that your feelings about sex and your overall sexuality will change with your mesothelioma diagnosis. 

It’s normal, especially shortly after diagnosis, to no longer have an interest in sex.  It may seem like the furthest thing from your mind when your primary concern is now your disease and its treatment.

It’s tough for most people to talk about their sex life, but it’s important for you to be honest with your partner as far as sex is concerned.  He or she needs to know that you’re not rejecting them.  Tiredness, stress, and anxiety will certainly affect your desire or you may simply be emotionally unable to connect with your partner at this time. At some point, it may be physically impossible for you to have sex due to pain, breathing problems, or other symptoms and side effects of mesothelioma and its treatment.

Body image may also have an effect on your desire to be intimate with another.  Loss of hair, weight loss, or other symptoms that affect the way you look may make you feel as if you’re undesirable to your lover. 

Some sexual issues can be resolved with some creativity.  If you still have a desire for sex but are constantly tired, you may want to find some new positions for sex that allow you to expend less energy. 

If you’re shy about the way your body looks, try dimming the lights or, if you’re a female, wearing lingerie that makes you feel pretty yet hides your weight loss or other physical problems.  Invest in a wig or some attractive headgear if you’ve lost your hair. 

If you are indeed physically able to have sex, you may find that the experience of closeness to another and the release of sexual tension will make you feel better, if only for a short time.  Sex will never worsen your cancer.  Loving and caring will only help!

Don’t be afraid to ask your doctor about sexual issues.  Cancer specialists are accustomed to talking about such things and may be able to help you address your sexuality challenges.